~Written in memory of our sunshine, Cameron Andrew May~
The biggest lesson I have learned in the last couple of months of this year has been to be still. I remember my dad calmly telling me this as I tried to explain to him every which reason why I deserved to be kicking and screaming and frantic and over-dramatic about the mess of a situation I had happened to be in earlier this year. Then things just kept getting worse. My heart was broken, I was freaking out about life after graduation, I had realized my friends weren’t as true as I thought they were, and I had so many negative thoughts swarming in my brain about myself like a mosquito in the summertime. Once I had realized that my way wasn’t the best way to handle my chaos, I decided to take my dad up on the offer of being still. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, release every ounce of pride built up in my joints, and let a couple of tears slide out the corners of my eyes filling the corners of my mouth with the familiar salty taste of sorrow, frustration, and pain. But then, something happened. I felt God’s peace come over me, then I heard him speak.
I’m the kind of girl that is always busy, and if I don’t seem busy to you at the moment, wait a couple of more moments and I’ll probably be booking my flight down the east coast or trying to make my way to a conference. I’m sure you can relate in some way, too. Maybe it’s work, or school, or your relationships, we all are often times… just really busy.
I have realized that when I am in my worldly chaos that I have created (and that comes out of nowhere for no reason) it can be difficult for me to hear God’s voice, and sometimes, easier for me to turn away from it when something happens in my life that I can’t understand. However, without being still, I have come to understand that, for me at least, there is no way for me to genuinely hear God speak to me.
These past couple of days, weeks, months, years, have been complete chaos for me. I’ve had my heart ripped out, smashed into the dirt, fixed up, and had it done all over again and again and again and again. But there is something that I heard today in church that really spoke to me. My pastor said, “The same God you believe in when there is light is the same God you need to believe in when you are in the dark.”
To anyone who is in the dark feeling the tears roll down to their chest, that aching pain in your heart that makes you want to throw up, take a minute to yourself, be still, and hear Him speak to you.
God was intentional in making the sun rise every morning. Your sun, too, shall rise once again. Darkness does not last forever because He has made light in you.
Scriptures to Read When You Need Help Being Still
Psalm 46:10 | “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
Psalm 37:7 | Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
Exodus 14:14 | The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
Mark 4:39 | And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
Psalm 4:4 | Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
