Hey girl.
It has been a tough couple of months, huh? Your mind has been racing a lot, hasn’t it? The pressure feels a little heavier than normal. Maybe you’re feeling a little lonelier than usual and every day seems to be like a mystery with the anxiety of tomorrow gnawing at the middle of your chest each night before bed.
The world is kinda tough right now. There is so much change and unknowingness floating all around us all the time. It’s overwhelming. It’s discouraging. It’s sad and having faith and hope is easier on some days than others. I get it, sis.
While I was journaling tonight, I felt like I really needed to get some things off my chest. I write my journal entries as prayers or letters to God and while writing tonight, I heard him speak something to me that I felt like I needed to share with you all. Specifically, I felt like I needed to share it with the young woman who feels really broken and alone right now.
The weight you are trying to carry on your own in this moment is not yours to carry.
You can not fix everyone. You were not designed to do that.
You can not heal everyone on your own. You were not designed to do that.
You were not made to please everyone on this earth.
You are not perfect.
You are going to make mistakes.
And you’re probably going to disappoint some people.
Perfectionism and striving to do for the sake of acceptance or applause has always been one of my biggest struggles. I used to feel like there was an image I had to live up to and if I didn’t live up to that image I was a failure. I ended up living an unauthentic life, not knowing who I truly was. COVID has given me a lot of time to think about this. One day while sitting on my couch in my apartment, I had to ask myself, “What do you really want out of this life?”
COVID has been such an interesting time because the things that I used to think really matter, don’t. There has been this transition from trying to please the world to really finding truth in yourself and learning what that means in the context of your life and your purpose. I started asking myself “What truly makes me happy?” “What kind of love do I deserve?” “What kind of wife and mother do I want to be?” “What do I need to let go of?”
Lastly, it made me realize the importance of vulnerability. Every woman you meet is fighting her own internal battle. And to the women that have gotten so good at masking their inner wounds, I want to invite you to sit in this space authentically with the other women reading this post, and give yourself the opportunity to be real with your feelings. I encourage you in this moment to invite God to meet you where you are. We all don’t have the resources or people around us to safely be vulnerable but know, God is your safe space. He doesn’t want the Instagram you nor does he want the Facetuned you because he knows he has made you with no mistakes. He wants the real you.
You, as you are, are a gift to this world and though you are not of it, you are somebody’s light in it. And no, you’re not too broken. The truth is, we are all broken in some way, but even in your brokenness, you are still worthy to me, to your creator, and to all the lives you impact around you.
You are worthy of authentic love and living an authentic life of pure joy.
So yes, this time is tough. It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. But know that when you start feeling that heavy weight on your chest, give it to God.
Start talking to him again except this time, be real with him.
Do not forget the promises God has promised you because even in the midst of a pandemic, they are still as true as ever.
Keep the faith, sis. Be brave and choose to embrace your most authentic self, the one God fearfully and wonderfully made. You are not alone and I am so glad to have you here.
Remember, you are blessed, brilliant, and beautiful.
<3 TD
