Dear Girl, You Can Do Hard Things

I was in the middle of my yoga class (after I hadn’t been for an entire month) and my legs were shaking, my body was slick with sweat, and my headspace was everywhere but where it needed to be–in the studio. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to just come home from class that day and lay on my bed. The weather had been gloomy and the novelty of a new year was starting to wither away. Then I heard my yoga teacher say these words. “You can do this. You need to believe that you can do hard things.”

I don’t know if it was the over 100-degree temperature in the room or what, but her words hit me in the face like a sack of potatoes being flung on the kitchen counter after being hauled up three flights of stairs. I wasn’t struggling to make it through that power yoga flow that day because I couldn’t do it, I just didn’t believe that I could. I had already made up in my mind that I already failed, so that is exactly what my flow felt like.

How many times have you given up on yourself before you have given yourself space and freedom to try? I think the reason that we think that we “can’t” is because we spend way too much time on variables that don’t matter such as how fast we do things, how well we are doing them compared to our friends, etc. Before we know it, we get lost and distracted from a reality and truth that says we actually can do hard things. You want to know why I believe this statement for not only myself, but you too? Because you have done hard things before and you will do them again.

I am pretty sure there exists somewhere in an old baptist church somewhere a hymn that talks about how God has done it before and he will do it again. Regardless of how dusty the hymn may be, its the truth. He has equipped you before, so why can’t you do it again?

YOU are so much stronger than you think you are. Regardless of what everyone else is doing around you, you have what it takes and the discipline you have nurtured in yourself is what going to take to get to where you are supposed to be. But know that discipline begins with reminding yourself that if all else fails, you are okay with the fact that you believed in yourself and never broke that promise to yourself.

I think for a lot of us, when we reach a certain point in our difficult journey where it just seems “too hard” we tend to conjure up thoughts that make us believe that we are “just not built like that.” We convince ourselves of plausible excuses for us to give up and quit. Listen, we have got to stop giving up so easy on ourselves. Personally, I think that giving up on ourselves before we have even given ourselves a chance to try is one of the biggest forms of self-hate we can practice. Here is the shocker, though. Nobody is “just built like that.” A bodybuilder doesn’t walk into the gym one day and decide that they are going to lift 450 pounds. No, they start with small goals. They practice discipline. They surround themselves by people and things that are going to inspire them and help them get to that goal. Do you know what they don’t do? They don’t walk into a competition after one or two or eight weeks of training and become the next iron man (or woman).

You can do hard things! You just have to give yourself a little grace. I am not saying be a lazy slob and expect things to come to you. (Let me save you a month of wasting and tell you right now that it doesn’t work. You have to put in the work, hun.) Rather, I am saying that you can’t keep expecting something impossible out of yourself (such as perfection) and get disappointed at yourself when you don’t reach that goal. That’s not healthy and it’s going to destroy your relationship with yourself and God.

You will find that the majority of things worth having in life are found at the end of marathons, not sprints. They take time and nurturing.

Things that ‘Girls who do Hard Things’ Do

They write reasonable goals (Short Term and Long Term) and constantly.
They master the art of discipline and grace towards themselves and others.
They are adaptable.
They set healthy boundaries (Yes, hun. Unfollow that girl because all she is doing is dragging you down).
They believe in themselves and become their biggest cheerleader even when that is all they have around to motivate them.
They surround themselves by uplifting people and experiences.
They know when they need to say “no.”
They practice healthy coping mechanisms when they start to feel anxious or depressed.
They know the signs of when they need help and they ask for it.
They don’t allow themselves to be defined as one thing. They look at themselves as an ever-changing, beautiful woman.

Listen, this February we are cultivating and manifesting self-love. Aren’t you tired of crying into your pillow about how you wish you were skinnier or smarter or had more friends or maybe sometimes just another person? It’s time to start believing in yourself again. Pick yourself up off that floor, look in the mirror and say loud today, “I can do hard things.”

Always remember you are blessed, brilliant, and beautiful. You can do hard things.