Living a Life Full of Intentional Joy

Hey beauties! Welcome back to the blog! Gosh, I have been thinking about this post for a while now. It is crazy how as a blogger there are random moments during your day when you are sparked with an idea and then as soon as you open your laptop, everything goes blank. Today, will not be that day ( I declare it!) because what I want to share with you is hopefully going to change your life. I know, that is quite a big claim, but trust me, this stuff is  revolutionary and has been helping me live my best life this whole end of the summer.

 

So, I really like chocolate chip waffles and milk in the morning. I know that every body is on one of those fad dairy-less diets (which I am not knocking), but that has always been one of my favorite breakfasts since I was a little girl. Somewhere between the ages of seventeen and twenty-one, I stopped eating them. I stopped eating my favorite breakfast foods, stopped dancing and singing really loudly in my room to my favorite songs, stopped playing the piano, wearing my hair curly, writing songs, and watching Say Yes to the Dress with my mom. I stopped doing it because somewhere down the line I had allowed this world to take away my joy. I didn’t fight for it. I just let it slip between my fingers.

 

If you look in my freezer today, you will see a pack of 12 of chocolate chip waffles. Why am I telling you this odd story? Because that is one of the ways that I intentionally choose joy for myself.

 

Here, let me explain.

 

Today I am going to talk to you about intentionally choosing to live a life full of joy.

 

If you read that first sentence and thought to yourself, girl what in the world are you talking about, I completely understand. I thought this way too. Actually, I thought this way for a really long time.

 

As a young woman who feels like she feels her emotions about 10x more than any other living human on this Earth, I am a true believer of feeling feelings. I am an artist. I write, create music and believe that feelings help create those beautiful creative things we know and love so much in this world like poetry, music, and books. So I never think that one should suppress any feelings (especially the hard ones) because sometimes they can give us perspective and contribute to our  journey of self-discovery, self-love and understanding our belongingness in this world. However, if you are like me, there can be times when you find yourself consumed in those feelings to the point where you will choose to make (or not make) decisions that typically make you happy. Now I am not talking about depression. That I feel like is something totally different and is for definitely for  another blog post on another day. Today I am talking about the importance of choosing something that will make you happy every single day and doing it for nobody else but yourself because you deserve it.

 

Life is hard.  Life is actually really hard sometimes. There I said it. heartbreaks hurt and last way too long and lost friendships often times have you questioning the most dreaded question of, “What is wrong with me?” or “Why don’t they like me?”

 

Since I have finished reading the book, “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis, (Don’t worry, that review is coming on Thursday morning this week) I have truly stopped feeling sorry for myself. My last three years in college haven’t always been as fun and eventful as my Instagram may have portrayed. Well, now my personal insta is gone so you can’t really see it anymore, but nevertheless it always showed the happiest times–the times I wanted people to think I was at my happiest. To be honest, there was a lot of sadness, a lot crying, a lot of skipping classes because I couldn’t get out of bed, many anxiety attacks, and a lot of visits to my therapist. Yes, happy girls have therapists too.  I kind of went through a rough experience my sophomore year and for a really long time I allowed that experience to define me, my relationships, and practically everything I did. I seconded guessed everything about myself, I was super insecure, and I was trying to define myself with anything that was in arms reach of me–a boy, a club, friends I thought would last forever, a trend, etc.– instead of dealing with what I needed to within my own heart. Eventually those things I was grabbing onto melted away and I was alas looking at myself in the mirror, once again, with makeup from the day before smeared all under my eyes. Something had to change or the cycle would just keep going.

 

Let’s pause here. If you want something to change in your life, you must mustard the courage and faith to do something about it. I really am not a fan of change, but I am also not a fan of seeing my eyes swollen from tears and my pillows stained in black mascara from what seemed like millions of nights crying by myself. Hello people, laundry is expensive! CLEARLY something wasn’t right. CLEARLY something needed to change. I just wish I knew earlier that in the end, I had the power to get on my knees, pray for guidance, and trust God to remove me from the negativity surrounding me that I could have promised you was going to be my source of love and fulfillment.

 

Though before that discovery, I would ignore the original hurt with something else that would preoccupy me so I wouldn’t have to think about it. I was distracted. But the thing was that my plan was flawed because eventually that distraction would leave and I was forced to deal with looking at the problem for what it was. But one day something changed. When the person I loved most left, something changed. When I looked at myself, I no longer felt sorry about myself or got mad at others who just couldn’t understand why this was taking me so long to get over. Because when you’re really hurt (and smart) you figure out ways to repress the hurt. You find the quickest and easiest solution. You ignore it. Yet, in reality it never really goes away until you deal with it. So here I am, dealing with it. Everyday, by myself, by choosing intentional happiness.

 

Ohh gosh, I can’t believe I just shared that with y’all. But I just want y’all to know how real this is. Happiness can be a choice. So yeah, I eat my chocolate chip waffles every day before school because that makes me happy. I read books of love stories and sometimes past historical events because that makes me happy. I go to church and try to make relationships with genuine people because that makes me happy.

 

I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started living my life everyday by making myself choose intentional joy. Who cares what that guy thought of my outfit! I loved it! Who cares if those girls wanted to talk about me because I wasn’t “like them.” I spend time with a God everyday who constantly reminds me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I started saying no when I really didn’t want to do things and started spending time with myself.

 

I am not telling that you can’t be sad, but I am telling you that you can’t feel sorry for yourself forever. Yeah, what happened probably sucked.  You probably think about who you “use to be.” But the past is the past for a reason. Why would waste these beautiful days God has given us instead of choosing intentional joy every day.

 

Intentionally deciding to choose joy everyday does not mean you ignore the realities going on around you. It means you accept those realities, but still choose to see the light in whatever way that may be for your life. My grandma use to always tell me, “If you don’t make yourself happy, nobody will.” She is so right. That is the point of intentionally choosing joy. In a way, you are intentionally choosing yourself each day.

 

Here is Your Challenge: Write a list of things that make you happy. This list could be books, people, things, chocolate waffles, as long as it is safe and does not harm to you, write it down. Then everyday, choose one of those things to do.

Tip 1: Be intentional about your decision to make yourself happy. If you choose to workout that day, keep that promise to yourself and make it happen.

Tip 2: Be daring about the things you are choosing to do. Go to that coffee shop you want to go to or that super cute book store. Plan a picnic for yourself or spend the entire day cuddled on your couch watching Harry Potter.

Tip 3: Do not feel guilty about choosing yourself today. Find love within this journey of living a life full of intentional joy.

Tip 4: My mother always told me not to let anybody steal your joy. That “anybody” includes yourself. Stop living a life where you are not living to your greatest potential.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13

 

Thank you so much for reading today’s blog post! If you love content like this, please sign up to have the blogs sent straight to your email every Monday and Thursdays with this link. You all are so amazing and I am wishing you a week filled with love and joy. Stay blessed, brilliant, and beautiful.

<3 TD

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