January is usually one of my favorite times of the year. It is full of so much newness. Even if there isn’t actually a lot of new things going on in my life at the time, the hopefulness of a fresh new start is enough to keep me distracted and in a state of excitement for the month.
Of course, like every year, January is full of goal setting. For me, my goals were not really as specific as I normally like them to be, but I am okay with that. In the midst of the pandemic, I have found myself not writing as many goals down and trying to experience life more authentically. Instead of forcing myself to view it through a narrowed vision that I have created, I have been trying to take it day by day giving myself the freedom in living out each day possibly different than the the one before. Sometimes this happens, sometimes it doesn’t. However, the possibility for it to happen is enough for me right now.
Nevertheless, this January was filed with a lot of happy moments. I started doing yoga consistently (basically every day) with yoga with Adrienne on Youtube. I learned how to make pizza from scratch. I read five books (I will blog about those later). The inauguration happened. I finally got to volunteer with hospice again and even picked up on a new volunteer experience, directly helping out at my local COVID-19 Vaccination Clinic. I participated in a virtual Narrative Writing workshop and studying for my MCAT has been more consistent than ever, too!
Though I am proud of myself for January, I feel some self-inflicted pressure coming into February.
I am realizing that the more and more God blesses you with amazing opportunities and responsibilities, the more and more it is important for you to remember that all of your worries, stress, frustrations, and fear of what happens next in your life is not yours to carry. And when you do try to carry tomorrow’s pressures, God humbly reminds you in small ways that it is His strength alone that is going to not only get you where you want in life, but through all the obstacles, hard days, pushbacks, and rejections along the way.
I recently got the chance to talk with one of my friends who was really struggling with some of her blessings. She recently got two job offers (I mean yasss sis, in a whole panny?) and she called me for some advice.
“I mean what am I going to do?” she asked over the phone. “Tomorrow I have an interview with a company I have wanted to work with my entire life, but I just got this other possible offer that is literally a once in a lifetime experience for anyone wanting to be a journalist. I won’t officially hear back until a couple of weeks, but should I even interview tomorrow?”
Before voice messaging her back, I sat and thought about a concept that I read about recently in one of my books. Today is all that exists. This moment that you are reading this blog post (hopefully snuggled up with blankets) is the only actual reality that exists. The futures and tomorrows that we day dream about and put so much pressure on ourselves to follow through on… does not exist yet. Tomorrow is not real. The only thing that we can focus on right now is what we know on this day, in this moment, because this is all that exists. And contrary to popular belief, that is enough. When we stop trying to carry the weight of tomorrow’s pressures (that we should be giving to God), we give ourselves space to find appreciation in our present. The most valuable thing you have right now in your life is the moment right in front of you.
So for all the people out there reading this who have felt a sudden unwavering pressure to do a certain thing, accomplish a certain goal, hit a certain personal record, check a number of boxes, whatever it is, I need you to take a step back. Honestly, I will do it with you. Take a step back and remind yourself of the following:
1. You can do everything, but you can’t do everything at once.
2. There is value in the space you are taking up in this season of your life.
3. You are not alone in this journey. God was not kidding when He said that He is always with you.
4.. You worth does not come from your work or productivity. (Yes, they lied to you.)
5. Your body NEEDS rest. If you do not rest, your body will make you. Don’t be stubborn. Listen the first time.
6. Boundaries = Healthy Relationships. You need to set better boundaries with work and school.
7. Social media is not real life. Get off social media…it is ruining your self-image and self-respect.
8. Life is not about rushing to the finish line. Walk a lap if you need to. There is no time frame. (They made that up too, sis.)
I pray February is filled with a lot of creativity for you. I pray that you create the spaces that you have been needing. May you continue to stay close to hearing your inner voice, and even closer to hearing the voice of God. Remember, it is okay to take a break. Rest if you must, but don’t quit. I know you have been working hard. You do not have to prove that to me or anyone else. Be kind to yourself this month. Stay consistent and disciplined (of course), but please remember be kind to you and remember the days where you prayed to be where you are right now.
Matthew 6:34 says “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Believe that. As always, you are blessed, brilliant, and beautiful. -TD
Love reading your blog !
Thank you! 💕💕💕