Today, Let’s Choose Kindness

When did everybody get so “hard?” I mean, I feel like everyone around me is clothed in this hard shell as if they don’t want anybody to see that they have any emotions. I don’t know if we as a society have just gotten so desensitized to human connection or maybe we have just connected too much and that hurt that sometimes comes with opening up to the wrong people gives us some type of PTSD. So instead, we close ourselves off to avoid anything that remotely feels like that to avoid it ever happening again.

I wanted to write this blog today because I feel like now of all times is the most important time to choose to be kind to one another. We have all tried the alternative. We have ignored other’s pain to distract ourselves from our own, pretended that we never loved to mask our hurt, and tried to distance ourselves from others by saying “can’t relate” a little too harshly knowing that we indeed can.

I think we should choose kindness more.

I was walking from work earlier and I saw this girl sitting and studying. I wouldn’t necessarily say we are friends, but I knew of her and she knew me well enough to say hello as I walked by.  I spoke first. It’s a southern thing, I guess. Always say hello and goodbye. It is good manners. However, I could tell she wanted to say a little more than just hi. When you actually look into people’s eyes, you see a lot more of that something of their story that “just seemed like it was missing.” On my way back I decided to lose my pride and stop to talk with her for a little while.

Sometimes I feel like God gives you opportunities in life to show his grace and love not exactly by preaching the word or sharing your favorite scriptures on Instagram, but rather through acts of kindness when people least expect it.

Everybody has a story. Everybody is going through something and it is this that I constantly have to remind myself. I am not saying you have to go around smiling 24/7 like me (I mean if you want to, join the club!), but I want you all to challenge yourself to deliberately decide to be kind to others, to acknowledge their story whatever it may be.

No matter our skin color, faith, sexual orientation, gender, language, culture, beliefs, hair texture, or whatever other difference we are deciding to divide ourselves with this week, we are all human. We cry the same, laugh the same, hurt the same, and smile the same. We know what it is like to make a bad decision and feel the consequences of it and we also know what it is like to have someone who genuinely is happy for our successes. So instead of saying “can’t relate” how about we choose to “relate” a little more by being kinder.

Choosing to be kind doesn’t make you weak. Actually, I feel like it makes you strong. Choosing to understand others and/or acknowledge whatever they are going through means that you are strong enough of a person to look beyond the pettiness that the world may serve to you on a silver platter. It means that you are able to connect with the human experience just a little more.

I think the easiest way to choose kindness is to pay more attention to the words we use (type, text, tweet, chant, etc.) and the ones we don’t. As an English major in college, I look at words…a lot. I read them off of freshly bought books, listen to them through podcasts, and constantly play around with them as if they are notes on a piece of music that is never ready to be performed, but constantly being composed and decomposed, if you may. However, words can be like the bullets to the soul that don’t kill.

You know what I am talking about. Someone says something to you (or doesn’t say anything to you) and you play it off cool. But in actuality, you feel that pain localizing somewhere in your upper chest and growing in pain until your eyes water up with tears just before you realize one is about to fall. It can’t. You’d never let it do that. So you swallow them, the tears. Nobody can see you sweat, right?

Except unlike a bullet, it doesn’t take any amount of pressure to fire words. It is a cognitive decision. That is the danger. It’s easy, swift, but the result, whether positive or negative, stays a while. Instead of using words to harm, let’s choose to use them to heal.

At times I just feel like there is so much negativity and division around me and I feel like although it will never fully go away, there is nothing wrong with trying to bring a little more light into the darkness by choosing to be kind. Are there things that you like to do that spread a little kindness to the people around you? Comment below to share!

Remember, you are blessed, brilliant, and beautiful.  Smile at someone today. They probably need it.

<3 TD